


Without You There’s No Me

by Unicornsfartglitter



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Brief mentions of suicide, Fluff, M/M, Sadness, True Love, hurt Negan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 05:22:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15942623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unicornsfartglitter/pseuds/Unicornsfartglitter
Summary: Negan falls into a coma and Simon stays by his side admitting his love.





	Without You There’s No Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [taraburnett](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taraburnett/gifts).



> I finally finished it!

Simon watched in horror as Rick's jeep hit Negan's car. He knew the vehicle was gaining momentum despite Negan's controlled driving and faster car. Puling over he shot at Rick cursing as he got away on foot but that wasn't the most important thing.

"Negan!" He screamed.

Negan's car was flipped and he was unconscious. Anybody could shoot him as he climbed in the open window to unbuckle the seatbelt.

"Come on Negan, stay with me!" Touching his neck he felt a pulse and was mildly comforted.

‘Stop yelling fuck!’' Negan only thought he was yelling out.

Dwight arrived just as Simon pulled Negan out, exertion taking over. 

"Where were you?"

"Being lookout in case there were more Alexandrians."

Simon doubted that but he turned to Negan. He had a long laceration down the side of his face and he pulled his shirt up to see red marks that would surely bruise. His temple was pouring out blood so he pulled his shirt off to apply pressure. 

“Come on Negan. Wake up."

'I'm awake shit head. Fuck I'm not.' Negan gathered he wasn't conscious.

Dwight drove them back, there would be no war starting today but Simon swore there would be. Negan's shallow breathing had him squeezing his hand. He had to be okay.  
——————————————————-  
The next morning nothing had changed, Negan wouldn't open his eyes and Simon tried to keep hope. His leader was too strong to be cut short but this. 

"Remember when you found me? I was stabbing a hoard of walkers and I thought I was a dead man. My group was already gone, I didn't believe you when you said you would take care of me but you did."

'I knew you would last.' Negan tried to squeeze his hand but couldn't.

Negan looked frail tucked under a white sheet, his now bruised torso bare underneath. Simon's mind kept swimming about how he would live without him.

"I've realized something." He laughed out. "I don't want to be here without you." 

Kissing Negan’s forehead he understood a weight had been lifted off his shoulders at the confession.

'Holy shit! Did you just kiss me? It could have been dirtier but wow!'

There was no doubt about the days before. He didn't check Negan out, wasn't jealous of his multitude of wives though he never took one when offered. Simon worked through his duties, enjoying the praise but it was because Negan knew hard work. It wasn't until seeing him in bed did he realize what he felt.

"Rick will pay, they all will. They don't know you're trying to help them. They keep screwing up."

'Rick was always dumb. Damn that's nice.' Negan thought he was sighing at warm hands treading through his freshly washed hair.  
———————————————————  
'You're still here, you're not leaving me.' 

Negan wasn't certain how long it had been but Simon only left to eat or use the bathroom telling him so before he left. His knuckles and head had been kissed precisely twelve times or was it more? His head was throbbing, never stopped. It wasn't good he knew, an IV drip had been pushed in his veins. It stung but no matter how hard he tried to move he couldn't. 

'This can't be fucking permanent.'

Simon was pacing, screaming at him when he halted his steps or whispering to him to just wake up already. He tried, he really did but couldn't open his eyes or move his body.

'This sucks and he's going crazy. I'm the one who should be worried.' 

But it wasn't true. The ranging whispering, rare and short crying told him he was wrong.

"I'm sorry I wasn't in that car with you, if I was…"

'That's bullshit. You would be hurt too, maybe dead.'

"I wish I was because lying next to you in a bed would be better." Simon cried then, it was ugly and long, anguished and no longer withheld.

'It's okay, I'm coming back.'

It wasn’t because he had score to settle with Rick or because it wasn’t his time but because he wanted to see Simon. Messy with tears or smiling, screaming at him or joking. It didn't matter.  
————————————————————  
Six days, long and never changing. Simon had lost weight and that wasn't good because even with all the food at his disposal he was thin, his figure starting to match Negan’s only he wasn’t lacking muscle. It was hard looking at Negan, so tall an overbearing shrinking into a bed and being rolled over to keep bed sores at bay.

Simon held his gun, wanted to use it but it wasn't that long yet. Soon it would be. It felt wrong to take Negan prematurely with him but he wanted to know he was on the other side whatever that side be. It was wrong to let Negan become nothing. The IV, nutrition supplements only helping so much.

“I never liked Sherry, didn't’ know why. Every time she walked by flipping her hair I’d cringe.” Negan could hear a gun clicking, the ammo being checked like a nervous tick.

“I think I know now why, the bitch left you at the dead of night and you know what? None of those bitches have came to see you, not a single one.”

Negan by now knew he didn’t want them to visit, he only wanted Simon to touch his hand. He hadn’t sinice yesterday when he broke down and cried. His eyebrows furrowed in stress, Simon was starting the sniffle, the signs of a full on wail and his head still hurt though less after something better had entered his bloodstream today.

He swore his body relaxed when Simon finally took his hand again, his brows did stop their furrowing.

“Negan?” Simon asked hesitantly.

‘What?’

He internally whined when Simon dropped his hand but after a moment’s hesitation it returned. Simon’s mouth gaped in awe. So far Negan was like a corpse, face slack and unresponsive but he saw the pained look on his face that dissolves at his touch. Letting go of Negan again he saw Negan’s brows scrunch up only to soften at his touch once more.

“Negan.” Simon spoke softly.

He tried hard to make his tongue work when he felt Simons soft lips, his moustache on him.

“Your going to be okay.” Simon whispered.

Their newest Doctor came in, pushed metal against Negan’s feet shaking his head at Negan not responding. 

“No! See?” Simon seethed touching Negan’s face and letting go.

Negan’s face morphed at both his contact and retreat.

“It’s nothing, that happens sometimes.” Dr. Lee exuded calmness.

“You can’t tell me that! He wasn’t doing that a damn week ago!”

“He’s not moving, it’s been a week. Each day he doesn’t means it’s harder for it to happen. I’ve told you this.”

“It means something!” Simon snarled holding Negan’s hand.

It was desperate hope that Dr. Lee had seen before. “After a week…”

“Get out!” Simon ran up and pushed him.

“Simon.”

“No get out and you better hope I don’t find another Doctor because if I do he will surely be better than you which means you will be a fucking waste of resources.”

Negan tried to smile when he heard Dr. Lee slam against the door.

“He can fucking hear us! I know he can and he doesn't need your rude ass negativity! Get out and when you come back tomorrow you better have a different attitude!”

Negan heard his ass slap across concrete and the door close rudely.

“He doesn’t mean it, he doesn’t know what your capable of. You're not like other people, you're stronger.”

Simons stomach gurgled, Negan wanted to tell him to eat but instead heard Simon sit down and pull out a book. His friend was tired, voice so weary but he read to him from a book he had been reading before all this. His tone refined and not stumbling over the most difficult of words. Negan knew he was intelligent but damn, this apocalypse was a waste to his intellect.  
——————————————————  
“This one time I climbed up a tree, I was probably ten. My cat, this ugly orange thing that was mean as hell to everyone but me had climbed up our pecan tree. His eyes were so big and fearful, actually making him cute for once and I hated heights but I climbed up. As soon as I got to Socks he jumped down a few branches and kept going. Then he ran to the door, I was stuck up there scared to come down. My mom got off work and had to call the fire department to save my ass. My family laughed at me for years, I couldn’t live it down.”

Negan found out more about Simon, late night one sided chats. He didn’t know how long it had been. Remembered Dwight coming in a few times giving Simon a tray. He would thank him and put it down, the fork would clank a few times like Simon had taken a few bites then another story would start or more reading.

“Rick and his group left Alexandria. They knew they fucked up. If I ever find a one of them, they better run. I’ll be faster though.” Simon promised.

‘Come on Simon, eat some more food.’

“Your cuts healing.” Simon touched the scratch no longer needing bandaging. “I think it will be a scar, it will only make you more badass.”

Simon touched his own fading cut, it was a laceration from the broken glass of Negan’s car, he didn’t know he cut himself until late that first night. It didn’t matter.  
————————————————————-  
Dr. Lee came back and checked him, his vitals strong but his body diminishing. “Good vitals but it’s been..”

Simon smacked his hand hard against his lips, Negan didn’t need to know it been two and a half weeks. It wouldn't help a thing.

“He looks good.” Simon tried to believe.

“Yes, it looks like his body is still soaking up the vitamins, his complexion is good.” Dr. Lee struggled to sound positive, 

Simon had been sending men on mad dashes for IV’s and medication.

“He will wake up soon enough.” Dr. Lee lied and patted Negan’s arm.

He tried to slap his hand away but like every other unwanted action his limbs stayed numb.

Simon fiddled with his gun, checked the three bullets inside. Two for each of them and a third if he somehow fucked up. Two more days he would wait, he could make it two more days.  
———————————————————  
“I wish I told you I loved you. I want to believe you can hear me now. You would probably punch me if you were awake but it would be worth it.”

Simon sniffled and pet his curls, Negan’s skin was pale, a few sores blossoming no matter how many times Simon turned him.

“I know all you could ever love is Lucille.”

Only Simon knew of his great love.

‘I don’t think that’s true anymore Simon.’

Simon kissed his forehead and his aching body sat on the stiff chair, he hadn’t felt a bed since Negan got hurt. He would never feel one again he knew.  
———————————————————-  
Simon fixed a glass of orange juice, it was his favorite and brought a freshly picked bowl of strawberries to Negan’s room. Negan had grown them himself and they were big and sweet. He would wait to sunset, that was his promise, the only fear at this point was seeing Negan bloody and lifeless before he went with him.

He sipped on the juice and stood, dabbed some to Negan’s dry lips, vaseline wasn’t enough to help with the cracking at this point. He ate a strawberry, a memory of Negan working in his shorts, a rarity as he pulled weeds and tended to his garden. He knew now why he had often thought back on that day.

“It’s a damn fine day.” Simon said as he chewed on a strawberry.

“I should take you out to feel the breeze.” He added knowing he wouldn’t.

Chewing up a strawberry he spit out a bit of the puree, it would be the closest Negan’s tongue got to tasting his.

Negan perked up at the taste of the sweet liquid on his lips, Simons salty fingers pushing it in. It was like heaven in his mouth.

“Always wondered how we would go. I figured I would fuck up and you would kill me. I would deserve it. I honestly thought you had plenty of years after me but I thought maybe you would go out saving someone. You always told me you were a mean son of a bitch, always was but I imagined you sacrificing yourself.” Simon pressed more strawberry to his mouth. “You ain’t as selfish as you claim you are.”

Another tray came, Simon slammed it down and looked at Negan, his thin legs barely visible under a white sheet. Glancing at the gun he scooted his chair closer and held Negan’s hand, the other flipping through Negan’s book, almost at the end like perfect timing.

Simon read the last sentence, closed the book and touched his gun then looked at his clock. Four more hours wasn’t a long wait.

Dr. Lee came in and uttered some light praise of Negan’s accomplishments then left.

“I should shave.” Simon sighed, he didn't’ know how he looked bare, after years of wearing a moustache. Maybe he needed a change as a final parting gift to this world.

‘Please don’t.’ Negan groaned out picturing a hairless face holding less beauty.

“What?” Simon froze, breathing in harshly. He had to be going crazy.

‘Did I?’ Negan thought, pushing out his tongue, trying to articulate despite always failing.

“Pornstach suits you, makes most look creepy.”

It was weak and frail and Negan coughed, his dry throat gasping. Simon ran over and pulled him up, pushing a glass of waters to his lips.

“Negan.” Simons voice so burdened was now deep and radiant.

Smarter than most Negan swallowed the water gently then looked into Simon’s eyes.

“Ain’t you a sight for sore eyes?” Negan rasped, only enough energy left to give Simon an assuring sultry wink.

The days wouldn’t get easier, more obstacles would come their way but Simon hugged Negan close, dared to kiss his lips and when he wasn’t pushed away he knew everything would be okay. 

Tomorrow wasn’t promised but tonight was and he would spend it telling Negan everything he wanted to and in return he would learn his love had not been wasted.


End file.
